It’s amazing how self-entitled women feel in the name of ‘feminism’ and ‘women’s rights’.

It was a typical train journey. Dadar – Vasai. First class.

The TC walks in, checks everyone’s tickets/ passes, figures two people do not have a valid first class ticket – an old gentleman and a young-ish lady. Asks both to lay a fine and alight the train at Borivli.

The old gentleman pays the fine, waits for the next station, ready to alight.

The lady, on the other hand, questions as to why does she have to fine since she’s bought a (second class) ticket. On being explained the logic, she falls back on – Ab ladies ko itna maaf karne ka na (You should excuse ladies for something like this).

Not sure where she gets it from? Why does she think travelling in first class is acceptable without buying a valid ticket?

Please note that she looked from an educated, well to do family, with the means to be able to afford a ticket – one that she needed since she was also carrying a huge bag with her.

On being asked to pay a fine of ₹355 (₹105 for the ticket + ₹250 as fine), she also had the audacity to ask kyu? (why?).

It’s a fine lady.

No, you being a lady doesn’t excuse you.

No, you having the huge bag doesn’t excuse you.

Your indifference is appalling.

Your self-entitlement is appalling.

You, lady, are the reason feminism gets a bad name.

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Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. ―Neil Gaiman #TodaysMantra
Yes, I have been in love. Yes, I have experienced that splinter going deep inside me…and then I experienced it trying to come out of me. Tearing all that time had healed. It broke me to pieces in ways I did not know to mend. It tore me in places I cannot even reach.
But you know what? It made me realise that I am real. That I feel. And that I can actually fall in love…and that I can heal, albeit slowly. It takes time. It takes patience. And it takes help from a lot of people to remind me that I am the same person – perhaps better, perhaps stronger.
BUT, it helped me. That splinter, which is still tearing through me, is a constant reminder that I am human, and I can actually fall in love.
It gives me hope, and I can live on that.

My thoughts, in words.

part-broken, part-whole

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“I want to bury my face in your neck, in your hair.” It began like this. But then the romance dropped out of my hands and fell onto the floor in that loud clattering way love never is. 

I wish you had never written to me. The same way I wish I hadn’t been so brave so as to come and see you from two thousand, six-hundred and eighty-one kilometres away. I wish we had never tried to make this real; the way that says, “It was terrible and beautiful and unforgettable and I don’t know how to be without it anymore.”

One time is all it took to be ruined. One time and one person. Like an accident.

For all our left turns, you are the right thing, the one thing that is mine. Seeing you in the flesh, touching your skin, and kissing your mouth was the bravest thing I…

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For now to Forever

Posted: May 12, 2015 in Love, Musings, Poem
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We sail in the same boat, you and I,

alone in a crowd, in loneliness we cry.

We keep wondering, when will we meet,

maybe share a laugh, or together eat.

Let’s just resolve each other’s plight,

be together in this flight.

Take those steps ahead together,

and change the for now, to forever?

Angels

Posted: March 17, 2015 in Uncategorized
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One of the finest things I have read in ages; had to share it:

Angels

So, the Maharashtra government has decided to ban beef. A section of the society is rejoicing, including CM Devendra Fadnavis.

A lot of debate between people. Here are my two cents on why this is stupid at a lot of levels (apart from appeasing the Hindu vote bank). This needs to be looked at three levels.

Firstly, you cannot command over what people eat. If we are a ‘secular nation’, as is claimed in the constitution, you should not be pro Hinduism and their beliefs. Yes, this happens in Middle East because they’re an accepted Muslim state, and therefore all their laws and rules are based on religion.

Secondly, the economic impact – that’s one entirely different debate. One is at a state level, and the other at a country level. The country won’t be really impacted. It will be offset by other states. At a state level, there will be an economic impact in terms of trade of various products related to the cattle industry – leather, milk, etc. Also, this ban will increase the ‘trafficking’ of cattle across the border into neighbouring states.

Lastly, nutrition level – beef being cheaper than chicken, is the primary source of animal protein for a lot of lower middle and lower classes (after eggs and some fishes). This is just not going to help the case of them getting enough animal protein. It will push up the demand for chicken and alternate meats. Higher demands will push up their prices too.

Yes, this is a layman’s view, and I may be totally wrong. Feel free to correct me in comments. Always up for relevant discussions.

Also, a quick poll:

Sweet death

Posted: September 6, 2014 in Love, Poem
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A hanging noose, a gasoline jar,
A poison bottle, or that shot from afar,
The buildings tall, the sudden fall,
The fast train, an injection of pain.

I breeze through a million ways to die
All enticing, all assuring,
None compares to how you kill me.

You, yes you.

Your smile, your laugh, your angelic face,
Your touch, your lips, the almond eyes,
The thoughtful gaze, the assuring look,

The way you sashay down the road,
The way your feet move to the beat,
The way you hands hold mine so near,
The way your lips curl in pleasure.

All of these kill me a million times,
A death I will oh so willingly take,
Only to be reborn, to be killed
Over, and over, and over again.

I love you.

In your eyes

Posted: August 28, 2014 in Poem
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I look and stare
So deep in your eyes
I wonder what it hides within.

Behind the blue
Behind the gloss
I wonder what pains lie within.

I see an ocean
A vast sea of sorrow
Veiled by the shine and sparkle.

The turbulence, the waves,
The disturbances lay there
I see the fights, the wounds, the shadows.

I see a world, so far removed
A foreign land of wars fought
It’s almost alien to me.

I see your eyes shine through all this
Drop a joyous tear of my victory

Oh mother, you are so strong,
I hope someday I become half as you.

The laughter

Posted: April 30, 2014 in Poem
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Like the hurt and the hatred,
For they feel much more a part of me.
Like the snide remarks and the accuses,
For they seem to be coming from deep within.
Like the condescending look you give,
It at least feels closer to home.
Like the complete lack of belief,
For that’s what we have grown to be.
Like the laughter that’s on me,
For often you did that with friends.
Like the venom you spew for me,
For that’s how I have come to accept.

Been there, done that, smiled through it,
Life is now just on repeat.

I laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

The broken glass

Posted: April 27, 2014 in Musings, Poem
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I see those broken shards of glass,
Glistening in the pale moonlight.
Each a memory, a part of us,
Each a moment spent together.

I see those broken shards of glass,
I look at myself staring back.
Broken, defeated, unwanted,
Dropped like a hot piece of brick.

I see those broken shards of glass,
I see a me of time gone by.
No life, no spunk, no smile, no cheer,
A robot controlled by the moving tides.

I see those broken shards of glass,
The me there feels so far away.
I move to touch, to feel myself,
It pricks me hard, nothing is real.

Those broken shards lay inside me,
A million pieces, with a past so blue,
Wanting to get free, tearing me apart,
Leaving me in smithereens.